Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Hasta Luego.



It's Christmas morning. There are no longer any kids in the house, so everything is still. We were up too late after the Christmas Eve service but my body is still trained to wake up no later than 7:30AM (6:30AM Costa Rican time). 

I'm home. 

Those words feel relative once your life has gone so many directions that quite a few places actually feel like home.

Last week, I said goodbye to my home in Costa Rica for the past year. I have been busy with Christmas fun, wedding to-dos, & catching up with friends and family… and have naturally been procrastinating on giving closure to this season of adventure.







Leaving Costa Rica after a years was not easy on the heart (..or the suitcases for that matter). I had an internal battle about whether or not I should allow myself to feel the emotion tangled up in all of the goodbyes. You see, after years of practice, I am pretty decent at playing the "out of sight, out of mind" game because it's easier that way- there are less pieces of my heart to put back together. But sometimes it's important to be sensitive. If I'm not vulnerable and open, I will never feel the Spirit working & moving in me. McCray always says that allowing yourself a minute to experience the true emotion is like cold water in a river: it reminds you that you're alive.



That's what's special about humans, isn't it? We experience the world through and emotional filter. We aren't solely driven by out carnal instincts and we don't solely depend on our physical adaptations. 

We have hearts that were made to feel. As I walked away from those relationships, I memorized their "last looks" willing myself not to forget. Sometimes you have to experience a heart break to recognize what a full heart feels like. 

On the plane ride home, I choose the window seat. I always choose the window seat. As I was watching Costa Rica disappear, I felt like any moment could be my last picture of those green hills. And just as it went out of sight, I caught a fleeting glimpse of a rainbow. 

Endings are never seamless but they are invariably followed by new beginnings, full of new promises and hope. But even though my vision is limited and only extended so far, I can look ahead at the future with confidence.

Lord, I am forever grateful for how you have molded me and I trust that my life will be filled with many more years of growth and adventure!

["She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25]

--I'm looking forward to sharing more of my last few weeks in Costa Rica with you soon! 






3 comments:

  1. I loved this! welcome back to the us of a! how exciting. one of my resolutions is to allow myself to feel more- even if it's not always good. I hope you have a wonderful start to your 2014!

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  2. LOVE this. Welcome home! Hope you've been enjoying these past couple of weeks!

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  3. Yep, that made me wipe a couple tears away :) Do you have time to Skype/Facetime one of these days? xx

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