7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Last weekend felt like it was a reevaluation of who I am and where I’m at. This is something that I’m constantly thinking about and considering- I never want to be complacent.

Saturday, I attended a workshop at my school on “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Franklin Covey. I’ve mentioned these habits before because our school principles are founded on “The Leader In Me” program (the kid version of the 7 habits made for schools!). So, these 7 habits are something that I’m familiar with and the concepts came as no surprise.

But isn’t funny how the same thing can just rock you over and over again? God does that a lot- probably because we need more than a little bit of reminding to stay on track some times.

I’m not usually one for “self help” books and programs- a lot are based on secular ideas and God doesn’t really fit into their formulas. But the 7 habits from Covey are ones that resonate a lot with me as a Christian. Sort of as a download for myself-- I’m going to give you a little recap of how these can change your perspective & I how I think God fits into the picture. Feel free to skip around & read the ones that intrigue you the most!

1.     Be proactive.

"Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." 

[Philippians 4:13-14]

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You can carry your own weather. You control your attitude and how you respond to situations. Your                                            circumstances don’t define you- it’s the unchanging God of Heaven who defines me.

For kids, maybe someone is bothering them at school. They have to power to choose how to react to the situation. When they are proactive, they quit blaming the situation that they’re in or their problems on someone else and decide that they are in charge of themselves no matter what.

2.     Begin With the End in Mind

"I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back."

[Philippians 3:12-14]

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                        How do you live with purpose and vision? I am still thinking about this. The course challenged us to create a personal mission statement and I know that God wants me to have a purpose in my actions as well. I feel like I have had a few different personal mantras throughout my life, but are      they powerful enough to say that they are my “Personal Mission Statement” for my life?

                        I have followed this habit on a small scale, set little goals and raced to achieve them, but I’ve only been alive for twenty something years- how can I even begin to understand the concept of a long-term pursuit? This mission statement of mine is currently in progress. It’s not something that I can nail down in one day.

   If you had (or have) a “personal mission statement”, 

what would it be?

3.     Put First Things First

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"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

[Luke 12:34]

Where do you place your highest priorities? We are all given the same amount of time-it's just up to you on how you steward your time.

 “Things which matter most should never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”

[Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe]

                    There are 4 quadrants where we spend all of our time-  we are either pouring our time and efforts into the:

  

1) Urgent and important (crises, deadlines, etc)

2) Urgent but not important (interruptions, emails, meetings, phone calls, other people’s priorities)

3) Not urgent but important (planning, education, relationships, personal growth)

4) Or the not urgent and not important (aimless internet surfing, mindless TV, meaningless conversations)

                       

           

How many of us spend countless hours in the not urgent and not important quadrant?

            I don’t want days filled with things that are ultimately meaningless.

            I want to spend my life on the things that matter most.     

            What are the things in your life that matter that most that need more of your time & energy?

I’ve discovered that the next four habits are achieved almost easily once we’ve mastered the first 3.

I have found that powerful people who take responsibility for themselves find a lot more success in relationships.

4.     Think Win-Win

“So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.”

[Matthew 20:16]

                        This means being courageous and considerate at the same time. Win-win is a mindset that seeks mutual benefit. It is a simple concept that is often much easier said than done. It’s really all about redefining or refining your idea of what it means to win.

When you change your idea of a win to getting your needs met, doing something the right way, or gaining personal growth or progress, it’s a lot easier to win in every situation.

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5.     Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

[Matthew 7:7]

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Gosh the Lord has been speaking this into my life for over 5 years now and I’m still not perfect! This is all about listening and discussing in order to understand, not necessarily to agree.

Let’s be real: sometimes you just aren’t going to agree. When agreement is the goal, the conversation may never end. Look for what people feel and what they need- and give that to them- whether it is encouragement, affirmation, advice, or just two open ears.

Why do we have two ears and only one mouth? Because it’s a lot harder to listen than it is to talk.

6.     Synergize

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ...But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it." 

[1 Corinthians 12:12, 18]

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We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Value those differences. How boring would it be if we were all the same? We are better when we can build on each other’s strengths and compensate for each other’s weaknesses.

7.     Sharpen the Saw

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

[1 Corinthians 6:19-20]

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Take care of yourself. When we put first things first and decide to be proactive, it’s a lot harder to make excuses on taking the time to nurture your body, mind, heart, and soul.

Whew! If you actually read this whole thing, you might feel the way that I did after yesterday: provoked but a little overwhelmed. Even though I feel a little like I now have about 20 new things on my “self improvement” list, I realized that the first habit on the list is to ‘Be Proactive’. When I bring God into that picture, he is what defines me and what helps me to ‘carry my own weather’.

I can first and foremost focus on the one thing, living in his Holy Spirit, and the fruits of that will flow out. It’s a process. God is continually refining me and making me into the holy and beautiful person that I was created to be. 

"Begin with the End in Mind"

So this is my friend, Suzanne. She's an intern from Holland at our school and she'll be here until June. We both speak English. So of course, we became friends right away.

I've discovered that in Europe, people regularly do interesting things like...stay in hostels. So, it was naturally her duty to introduce me to my first hostel experience the first weekend that we met! So Friday morning, we got up at  4AM, jumped on a bus from San Jose to Puerto Viejo, and suffered leg cramps and neck pains for four hours in the Tico sized bus seats.

Before this trip, my idea of a hostel was not very optimistic. My thoughts were uncomfortable beds, dirty, bland gray rooms, and a little bit sketchy.

Well as it turns out, that's not how they do it in Costa Rica. (Ok maybe it was a little dirty)

See for yourself....

We stayed at Rocking J's.

Where we slept. We paid $7 a night for this hammock luxury.

So, we spent the weekend relaxing at the beach, trying not to get swept away by the red flag waves.
Suzanne tried to teach me how to surf. Unfortunately, I can't really say with a guilt free conscious that I actually surfed...I only made it past my knees a time or two. Maybe next time.

In the evenings, we had the pleasure of meeting a smattering of people from around the globe. I talked to people from Holland (no not just Suzanne!), Sweden, Germany, Canada, Uruguay, and a few a little bit closer to home- Montana & New York. 

The hostel had a kitchen so we gathered a large group of us together and all pitched in for a cheap dinner. Suzanne, our German friend, and I worked together to cook the "best meal" these traveling guys said they had "had in months". I'm glad the we were able to help satisfy a few bellies!

One thing that I discovered through many conversations that weekend was the amount of people who were "trying to find themselves" through traveling and seeing "where life took them". Some of these people had been on the road for months or just at the hostel "chilling" (and drinking...and smoking...) for weeks. I was burdened by the stories of people who were trying to escape disappointment or dissatisfaction with their lives at home. 

Don't get me wrong, I love to travel. That's why I'm in Costa Rica. But I was reminded of the value of having a purpose and vision for your life. It made me reevaluate my life and where I'm headed.

Our school is centered around Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Happy Kids (I'll talk about this more later). But- one of the habits that we've been teaching our kids at school is "begin with the end in mind". As 7 & 8 year olds, my class understood more about setting a purpose and planning ahead than most of those adults did. It is my desire that if those kids decide that they want to be something or go somewhere, they will commit to it and not end up 10-15 years down the road saying to themselves, "how did I end up here?"